What is healthy?

For a long time I have said "I just want to be healthy". Before I would use my weight as the number that would decide if I was healthy or not. According to the BMI standards not am I obese but I am morbidly obese. Dang that sucks right? But when those numbers are taken out of the determination of being healthy it takes some thought to figure out what healthy is. My husband has been basically in shape his entire life. He doesn't exercise in over a year but still has defined muscle tone. It makes me angry! Well not really its nice to have a good looking husband. But it would be nice to be in that kind of shape all the time. My husband tells me all the time that he doesn't care how much I weigh he just wants me to be healthy. But at the same time he tells me that being healthy is being at a certain weight.


I guess I need to back up some and explain some things. My depression, anxiety and being overweight got to be so bad that it split my husband and I up. Of course he had a lot of issues too and was in no way perfect. So we have been separated for over 2 years. We go back and forth about getting back together but my weight is the biggest issue (pun intended). I don't think he is trying to be mean spirited about telling me I am over weight but he doesn't want me to have the same problems that my family members have. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, CAD, are just some of the things that he doesn't want me to get. And we have four kids he just wants me to live longer but it all comes back to my weight. Losing the weight would help with a lot of those if not all.


Do I think that it is possible to be overweight and be healthy at the same time? Absolutely. Would I ever tell my husband that. No way. I think if I am eating a balanced healthy meal, exercising regularly, able to control my stress and anxiety then it shouldn't matter what the scale says. But telling that to someone who always looks good is tough.


So what is your definition of healthy if it isn't your BMI or what's on the scale?

I wanted to share some pictures of me to give you an idea of where I used to be, and where I am at now.


                                                                     December 2011

2016/2017

Mary Poppin's Scale

In the Disney movie Mary Poppins, when the nanny first meets the children, she use a tap measure to see how the children "measure up". I had forgotten about this part of the movie until recently when I watched the movie with my kids. This became my "A-HA!" moment.

For most of my life I struggled with being over weight. And every time I got on that stupid scale to check my numbers I would feel like crap! It was either going up, staying the same, or not going down fast enough. And I got to a point that I was weighing my self everyday, multiple times a day. After my "A-HA!" moment I decided that I wasn't going to let the stupid scale determine my health and happiness. I made a list of things besides the number on the scale that made me healthy and unhappy. Then I made a list that I considered to be healthy and happy by my standards. It was invigorating! It made me so much more happier to focus on these lists then the stupid number on the scale.

Unhealthy and Unhappy Me:

1. I struggle with binge eating.
2. 2. My pants size is currently 22/24W
3. I was told that I have high cholesterol.
4. I am always tired.
5. I am easily out of breath.
6.  I am always hot and sweaty.
7. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety.
8. I have low self esteem
9. My belly hangs over so much that I tend to get rashes underneath my belly.
10. I work in a healthcare setting and am not able to perform my job very well because I am not in shape.
11. I’m not able to play with my kids and enjoy being with them as much.
12. I’m not able to keep up with my kids and family.
13. I suffer from constant back pain.
14. I always have severe knee pain.
15. My back muscles always get numb and tingly.
16. I snore very loudly.
17. I suffer from urinary incontinence
18. I have a low sex drive.

Healthy and Happy Me!:

1. I am able to run 3x per week for 1+ hours.
2. I can participate in races.
3. I am confident.
4. I have tons of energy.
5. I am able to perform my job well.
6. I don’t have knee pain.
7. I don’t have back pain.
8. My depression and anxiety is under control.
9. My binge eating is under control.
10. I am not afraid to be in social settings.
11. I am not afraid to go places or avoid places and parties where I have to wear my swim suit.
12. I do weight training 2-3 times per week.
13. I like to go clothes shopping.
14. I am able to play with my kids.
15. I am able to keep up with my kids.
16. I don’t pee myself when I cough, sneeze, or laugh.
17. I AM HAPPY!
18. I am comfortable and am proud of myself.

So for now this is my journey on getting healthy and happy and has nothing to do with the stupid scale!